The past few days I’ve had a few moments of retrospective, reviewing the event of the year (or should I say past two years?). Lots of things have happened, and for most I remember there was a lot of bad luck involved. Or really, is it luck? After thinking about stuff I can’t fix because it’s past, I finally understood that I can fix what is going on right now, I do what I will in life.
In the past 2 years I lost what I thought was the man of my life (my life partner, my best friend ever…), my house with him, my driver license, my car (crashed by somebody else), a bike(stolen from a friend’s house who was borrowing it). I moved. I quit the job I have been doing for almost 10 years (and that I actually loved). I also got really broke; I had to stop eating all organic food, going to yoga twice a week and drinking double lattes at Oso Negro. I also had to put my mountain bike away cause I couldn’t afford to fix it anymore… I started dedicating myself to things that cost nothing and that I don’t brake; like reading, walking, thinking, painting, skateboarding. I am not going to lie, I felt really lonely and powerless at some points. But somehow, I did find myself… I think. Or some of it. I took time for myself, with myself. I finally decided what I wanted to do with my life; this is why I quit my job. I realized why even after 7 years, this guy has never been the right lover for me. I moved to start new things, meet new people, have new experiences. The things I lost were what made me who I thought I was. Then suddenly I found myself beeing, without all these things…
Anyways, today I had another revelation!!!
After reading over and over that message some people posted as their profile on facebook, It kinda became a subliminal message…
I was cleaning the dishes which ok, I don’t absolutely love, but It is kind of a meditation moment… when the missing pieces of my puzzle of thinking showed up like a pop up screen.
I am lucky because I only do the things I love!!!!!
It’s true. I don’t do anything I don’t love, and I pretty much do almost all the things I love, all the time! Even when I work, I love my work. Everything in my life is driven with passion. This why I am who I am, and why I am where I am. True.
Than I realized I haven’t had a tv for over 2 years (this is probably why I spend so much time on facebook, ha) and I DO have so much more time!!! Time to do the stuff I love… like writing this, snowboarding, biking, skateboarding, yoga, painting, reading, dancing and socializing. When I can’t do one thing, I do another one. It is so easy; there is so many things I love to do.
I also have the most beautiful people in my life. This is a huge part of what MY LIFE is. Nobody’s got the same exact people in their life. This is how we are united in our difference; we sort of make each other’s world what it is… We sort of create the universe together; without each of us it would still be, but it would never be the same. Every little bit counts, every last bite. This is my personal story…
When I stop looking for THE love of my life, I find so much love in my life.
Thanx for this.